To feed or not to feed....

This post isn't about our new puppy.  It's about something that no one cares about but me, I'm sure, but I need to write it.

My kids are picky eaters.  I will freely admit that some of the time they do not get their 2 servings of fruit and vegetables a day.  It's a source of guilt and frustration for me (and don't even get my mom started.).

But here's the deal....Growing up we never had dessert around.  I assume because my mom was always on a diet and didn't want them around but also because she and my dad thought my sister and I didn't need the temptation to eat a dozen cookies at once.  When we did have a treat, it was just that..a treat.  Something special that you only ate on special occasions, to celebrate or as a reward.  So when I got old enough to buy my own food, I went straight for the cookies and pie and ice cream because I could finally eat it whenever I wanted.  Unknowingly, my parents created an underlying desire by declaring sweets off-limits.

By contrast, my husband had dessert regularly and it was never a big deal.  Some nights they had cherry pie and ice cream, some nights not.  Consequently, he has no "unhealthy relationship" with dessert.  Sure he would eat pie every day, but who wouldn't?

Now, on to vegetables.  UGH.  My dad made most of the dinners growing up.  And dutiful and conscientious dad that he is, he included a vegetable with every meal.  A vegetable I was forced to eat before I could leave the table.  The worst part?  The vegetables of choice were stewed zucchini, beets, or green beans.  Sometimes peas.  To this day, the sight of beets make me gag, and don't get me started on the stewed zucchini...blech.  That stuff squeaked when you ate it.

So, back to my kids.  I read this article today by Rhiana Maidenberg and felt like saying AMEN!  Finally someone feels the same way I do. 2 of the studies the author mentions were particularly interesting because I have always felt this was true:

Besides, it seems we have even less control over our kid’s diet when we try to be, well, more controlling. Researchers at Penn State found that restricting a child's access to "forbidden foods" only increases their desire for them. In the study researchers divided the kids into two groups: one group was given very limited access to a jar of cookies, while the other was allowed to eat as many cookies as they wanted off a plate. It turns out that when access was restricted, cookie consumption nearly tripled.


And even if you’re not forbidding food, forcing food on kids is apparently just as bad. In another Penn State study, researchers found that coercing children to eat certain foods made it more likely that the child would dislike that particular food in the future.

She also wtires something my pediatrician said to me a few years ago:

Dr. Amy Maidenberg of Sage Pediatrics, a Bay Area integrative pediatrics practice, says that unless a child is failing to thrive (has no energy and is not growing), then she is getting enough nutrients for her current needs. Kids will eat when they are hungry.

 Right now my girls are 3 and 5.  They are growing like weeds.  I send a fruit and vegetable in their lunch every day.  I try to provide a fruit and vegetable throughout the day and/or with dinner.  I'm doing my best.  And at least now I can feel a little less guilty.  This too shall pass...I hope.